Dear Editor,

My annual non-resident fishing license in Wyoming costs $123.50 or  bait more if I contribute to search and rescue, which I do, because I may need them to come after me someday. I buy a non-resident license because I cannot prove residency here or anywhere else.

I like to fish on the Upper Green River, henceforth referred to as “up here,” where I soon will share the National Forest with more than 2,000 cows. The graving fee on BLM and National Forest land is $1.35 per animal unit month (AUM). I have never objected to this, and will not do so in the future. In fact, I’m delighted to know that for the cost of my fishing license, I could graze 91 cows for a month up here, just to get ‘em out of my backyard. I only I had a cattle ranch … or a backyard.

I totally understand the need to put cows up here, the free food being one incentive. The important thing, though, is if you don’t get ‘em off the hay meadows when the hay is growing you can’t feed ‘em in the winter. I am a beef eater, so how can I object? Besides, moving cows up here is the longest-running cattle driver in the lower forty-eight. I suppose we’ll start one in Greenland, once we get it.

Up here, the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away.

If a wolf eats a cow or a sheep up here or elsewhere in the predator zone, which is most of Wyoming, there is restitution. In 2021, for instance, 70 units of livestock were reported killed by wolves, or maybe grizzlies. The average recitation was $2,973.20 per unit. An outsider might assume that the wolf and/or grizzly is doing the rancher a favor since those proceeds will pay for 2,202 AUMs. They are not taking into account that it is rather hard to sell that part of the deceased which is left over, or that an unmolested cow that is nourished to capacity is probably worth a lot more than that. With big tariffs on Canadian beef, that cow is worth even more, as you will notice when you go to the grocery store. Most of you agree that making Canada a state will fix this.

Since I am not for sale, I wonder how much my heirs will receive if a wolf or grizzly eats me up here. I am looking into it.

By the way, it is legal to kill a wolf in the predator zone if it is depredating or conspiring to depredate, which it always is. This legislative action has made self-governance policies like shoot, shovel and shut up (SSS) obsolete. Given that the guy who gets paid to enforce protections has most likely lost his job, SSS was probably a better idea. Slamming a wolf with a snowmobile is still legit in Wyoming, too. The legislators who think this method of predator control is essential and also a hell of a lot of fun have a special way of limiting any oppositional dialogue … they announce that there are higher priorities to deal with first. “It just ain’t that big a deal.”

Apparently, especially after that little incident in Daniel over a year ago, a lot of folks disagree. Both the legislature and Gov. Mark Gordon are still getting hammered on a national and international level. They don’t look too good.

The hefty $250 fine for this particular incident caused the perp to announce that he would pay that much to do it again. Fine or not fine, he most likely will. The near-total lack of any subsequent or substantive legislative action just shows that Wyoming, like the federal government, is not doing its best to create perceptions that might offer a positive appeal beyond its borders. Wyoming’s reputation is in the doghouse. But who cares about reputation? We care about money! My buddy who usually comes to fish with me for about 10 days is going to Montana this year. He usually pops for at least one $700 guided fishing trip, before a non-taxable tip, and by the time he leaves the area, he has purchased two non-resident fishing licenses, one of which is for this year’s girlfriend just in case she decides to give it a try. Having insufficient room in my camper, they spend $200 a night at the Pinedale Hotel. Pancakes at the Wrangler, box lunches from Obo’s and beers and burgers at the Wind River Brew Pub, too. He spends money on flies and leaders from Two Rivers Fishing Company and lots of gas. All told, about $3,5000 is heading to Montana this year instead of Wyoming. Multiply that by … well I have no idea.

Taking an injured wolf back to the bar and showing it off to friends and neighbors after slamming it with a snowmobile and enjoying the applause is reprehensible behavior by both the performer and his audience — from any viewpoint! Taking selfies while kissing the animal on the jaw, only after alleviating any risk by duct taping its mouth shut is like the celebrity who shares his dick-pic with his mistress. When he dumps her she pays it forward. The pictures go viral. Beyond brilliant, don’t you think? It’ll be a while before y’all hear the end of it.

Dennis Norman Remarcis,

Off the grid, up here