The Intrepid Explorer - Dec. 24

A telephone is an apparatus for the simultaneous transmission of sound and speech to a distant point. It was not an appendage to the human form, though the cell phone has seemingly become one.

The telephone was an ornery object even when it was simple, ugly and stayed in one place. Now that it has become a streamlined attachment, its colors brightened and its programming as complex as the computers in NORAD, it has an arrogance that knows no bounds.

A cell phone is rude, intrusive and demanding. It beeps in the middle of a conversation and has no understanding and forgiveness. Telephones are now commonly referred to as cell phones, just as a terrorist group is refereed to as a cell.

It has become strangely acceptable to hear splashing water, or the flushing of a toilet on the other end. Should one pretend that it's perfectly normal for someone to be multitasking with the cleaning of body and bowels, while engaging in a heartfelt conversation?

I believe the invention of the cell phone was done by the minions of Satan, which has rolled into the device for total control of homosapians. Try as we might, we can no longer get away from them. They have become the digital pandemic that is slaughtering the mentality of the world. How can we have so much information in our hands and still be so ridiculously stupid?

We do not need to keep our cell phones in our hands. It’s like being at a cocktail party where there is, in your mind, no one of importance. Instead of finding someone new to meet, you have a laughing “private” conversation blasting from your cell phone’s loudspeaker. All that is taking place is the annoyance of the people around you.

Don’t use your cell phone while you’re dining with friends, grocery shopping or in a public place. It is annoying and no one wants to compete for your attention.

And speaking of grocery shopping, there is nothing more impolite and insulting then going through a checkout line with a cell phone tucked under your ear. Put it in your pocket and give the checkout person the respect that they deserve for putting up with people like you.

Don’t hold up everyone else in line while you talk to your friends or send texts. Give the person helping you the courtesy of your attention and allow the rest of the people in line to get on with their business.

Mute your phone and put it out of sight when interacting with others. By keeping your phone accessible, you make others feel as if your phone is more important than your interaction with them.

Now we can get into call waiting. This has to be the worst invention of any type of phone. Call waiting is just rude. It’s against all our principles of fairness. Instead of first-come, first-served, this is last-come, last-served.

While you are in a conversation and your phone announces the arrival of another call, punctuating it with vibrations and beeps, a simulated foghorn, you break in mid-stride with, “I have another call.” It doesn’t matter if you know who it is or not, you are pushed off the balcony as this incoming call is more important then you are. Let them call again. For years people have re-dialed when the line was busy. They waited their turn.

There is very little reason to be reached by cell phone day and night. You can eliminate the demanding telephone to be attended to when it feels like it by not giving in to it. The illusion that the telephone and texting speeds up communication is ridiculous. You can spend days with messaging back and forth.

All you have to do is shut your ringer off and let the answering machine do its job. If people get angry because of their deep-down belief that you should be available 24 hours a day, let them get angry. In meantime, they will get used to your ways.

It is also nice and non-intrusive to keep your of pristine Wyoming land. That dream for us is gone.

It will change this close-knit community, and I'm afraid not for the good. Many consider this a boost for Sublette County. I don't think the clientele that will patronize this resort will go to Pinedale for their shopping and entertainment. More likely, Sublette County will inherit the bill for the population impact, but Jackson will get the bucks.

The bottom line is this. When you vote for people whom you expect to represent notifications in check. Ringtones and notifications are a popular way to personalize your phone and have a little fun. But after hearing the theme song to Law & Order, or digitized kids babbling, they get old quick for those around you. By the time your friends, family or co-workers have heard it for the 100th time, they’re ready to throw your phone out a window.

Keeping your phone’s notifications wrangled and appropriate for your setting is an easy way to avoid this problem. Again, in most cases, this is as simple as setting your phone to vibrate, or better yet, silent.

Cell phones have made life easier, but have also filled them with social pitfalls. It is a problem that is way overdue and needs taming. Rude people have the ability to be louder through technology but it is not technology, it’s the people using it.

I believe I want to return to the time when your phone only rang at home. A time when the answering machine would get it and you could respond when you got around to responding. But then, more times than not, I do. I changed the ringtone to the old-fashioned ring and leave it at home! - dbA

You can find more of the unfiltered insight of Dan Abernathy at www.contributechaos. com and please SUBSCRIBE to my YouTube Channel, The Intrepid Explorer.