Assault survivor speaks out to change the system

Joy Ufford, jufford@pinedaleroundup.com
Posted 9/22/21

It was a warm, balmy summer night – the perfect start to a beautiful weekend outside with good friends.

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Assault survivor speaks out to change the system

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SUBLETTE COUNTY – It was a warm, balmy summer night – the perfect start to a beautiful weekend outside with good friends.

The group had camped in a special place set up during the very popular Fremont Lake Sailing Regatta. The friends talked, laughed, danced and celebrated gathering to race in the annual regatta.

Carefree and happy to be home, one young woman – a sailor by profession and lifestyle – said goodnight to friends and stretched out to sleep under the stars near her car.

But around midnight on Friday, Aug. 13, the young woman woke to find a strange man fondling her and trying to sexually force himself on her. Frightened, she shouted for help, and the man ran away. Her friends heard her and chased after the man in the dark but couldn’t catch him.

Just like that, he was gone.

Her friends called 911 at 12:14 a.m. on Saturday, Aug. 14, according to Sgt. Travis Bingham.

Now distressed and shaking, the woman told deputies she did not see the man’s face or know who he was. Always extremely cautious and conscious of her safety and others, she was shaken deeply and even shamed – briefly – by the violation of her confidence and body.

Four of five deputies on duty – including two new female officers – responded immediately.

“The deputies said he has probably done this before and will probably do it again – ‘We need evidence,’” she recalled. “They took it very seriously; they were very kind.”

Struggle

The violation also marked the beginning of Jess Piper Hewitt’s struggle to deal with an unexpected sexual assault and to speak her mind and express frustration with shortfalls she found in the system’s response.

The deputies were awesome and supportive she said. They were professional and concerned.

But to formally report the assault and have biological evidence collected, Hewitt had to travel alone to a hospital. Her only choices were distant – 77 miles to Jackson or 101 miles to Rock Springs.

She chose Jackson, thinking she would be seen more quickly.

Enduring several hours of “suspense and misery” before the specially trained “sexual assault nurse examiner” or SANE nurse came in at 7 a.m. at St. John’s Hospital, Hewitt was told she could not go to the bathroom. Deputy Hanna Patterson stayed with her until the SANE nurse arrived; she could not bear the thought of being alone.

She was “extremely frustrated” having to repeat the same story so many times, Hewitt wrote.

Hewitt took a photo of herself and was shocked at her ravaged face. She wrote in her notebook to keep track of her thoughts. She finally went to the bathroom when she could wait no longer and the nurse tossed her urine. She burst into tears while telling herself she was strong enough to see it through.

“I wasn’t driving, I was with friends,” she said. “I shouldn’t have to fear what someone will do to me when I’ve been drinking with friends. It felt so surreal. … Even if I had flirted with someone – I was asleep! I wasn’t passed out somewhere. It was a beautiful night and I was sleeping outside by my car. That’s what blows my mind.”

Float plan

As a professional sailor, Hewitt “makes a float plan” and takes personal protection very seriously. She has a baseball bat, bear spray, a shotgun and a Taser. She has a locator beacon and checks license plates. She shares her travel plans with friends and family, checking in on them while they check in on her.

“That’s why I moved to Wyoming,” she said. “I was terrified of being alone and I wanted to conquer that, to be alone but not feel alone. I was trying to capture that feeling.”

Protecting herself while awake, however, did not prepare her for a personal attack while she was sleeping. “It just happened so quickly.” 

First encounter

Several minutes after her assault, a woman said “one of the most traumatic things said to me: ‘Honey, you gotta watch how much you drink.’ That’s so wrong, that opinion has to change, that viewpoint has to change. People should be more sensitive after a sexual assault happens. Some people don’t realize the impact of the words.”

Sublette County deputies who responded were compassionate and “wonderful,” she said.

They gave her a SAFV brochure that deputies carry as a resource for assistance.

SAFV Executive Director Robin Clover said that is routine; a victim can ask a SAFV volunteer to accompany them to a clinic or hospital for biological evidence collection. If Hewitt called the crisis line, Clover said a volunteer “would do whatever (she) wanted us to do.”

If that means not reporting the assault, so be it – “The only time we would contact the sheriff’s office without the individual’s permission is if it is a minor. We are ‘mandatory reporters.’”

Evidence

Hewitt had no doubt about wanting to catch her attacker. But Sublette County does not have a specially trained SANE nurse. She consented to go to St. John’s Hospital. Hewitt did not want to be alone but her friends could not come along because they had been drinking. Deputy Patterson followed her to the hospital and “did not leave my side” while they waited several hours for the SANE nurse to arrive at 7 a.m.

“It was a long wait; there needs to be someone in Sublette County trained in that kit,” Hewitt said. “It’s inexcusable. You can’t tell me they’d want their daughter to wait like that.”

Clover said a victim can ask SAFV for an advocate that will come to either hospital.

Hewitt also spoke out about the poor clothing choices available at Jackson to her as an assault victim – oversized scrubs, “extra large granny panties and bright pink thongs –­ not appropriate.”

Predator alert

After returning to Pinedale, Hewitt tackled the situation head on. She took a breath and in “a huge act of courage,” posted a public message on Sublette for Sale to warn others of a predator, have people question a man’s suspicious actions and tell her story for others.

“We have a sexual predator who probably hopes I stay silent. But I’m not that type of person and this ain’t that type of town,” she wrote. “Someone must know something.”

She wanted to talk about the assault and aftermath using her full name “to take the shame away from it. If someone judges me for this, they are not in my support group.”

People who know her and many who didn’t responded with compassion and support that amazed her. She wants somehow to make it easier for victims to “hold their predators accountable. It’s not a ‘man hate’ thing.”

Sgt. Travis Bingham said detectives believed her attacker was not necessarily a serial rapist but her evidence would be the key to catching him. Detectives are still actively investigating the case, he said this week.

“It’s crazy to me that I have no idea who this person is,” Hewitt said. “Is it someone walking around town? Are people afraid of coming forward to protect a friend?”

Man up?

Hewitt said hearing men – friends and strangers – voice anger and frustration at her assault gave her a real boost – because she believes these are the perspectives to bring change.

“The predator is the one who should feel shame, not the victim,” she said. “It was amazing to hear men especially say that this was not okay. That they hope the guy gets caught. That’s huge to me. To have guys step up and say, ‘This is wrong.’ It can’t be that we have to change what we wear – people need to change their thinking on that. Whoever it was had confidence to creep around my car 25, 30 feet away from my friends. That’s a guy who will do it again.”

She believes men need to watch each other and change their acceptance of bad behavior.

“The whole sexual assault thing lives on a foundation of guys not holding each other accountable. That guy ran fast because he knew what he did he was wrong.”

SANE training

Sublette County had SANE-trained nurses until several years ago, according to Tonia Hoffman, chair of the Sublette Hospital District Board and RN for Big Piney schools.

“Our problem became keeping them current in practice,” she said. “It’s definitely a specialty area with a low volume in assessments. The certification is quite costly and requires more frequent (annual) assessments to keep their skills at their highest level, which is difficult to achieve in Sublette County.”

When asked if the new critical access hospital might have a SANE trained nurse, Hoffman said she is “actually very interested in becoming a SANE nurse myself.”

It would be much better to have a SANE-trained person closer than in Teton or Sweetwater counties, she added.

“I hope to get a program reinstated in the future,” she said. “It would be better for us to have a good program than to have to transfer those already traumatized elsewhere for an exam.” 

Aftermath

Hewitt went to a thrift store and bought a large pair of work boots to set outside. Four days later, Hewitt also drove to Idaho – alone – to buy a handgun and post a photo of herself shooting it on Instagram, in case her attacker follows her account.

Before she left for another month working offshore, Hewitt was still trying to find out if she was expected to pay for the exam.

“A victim should not have to pay for anything to do with evidence; why should I have to pay for someone else’s crime?”

She contacted SAFV and learned that if there was a bill, she could request financial assistance.

“But with alcohol involved, I wouldn’t get as much, which is f**d up,” Hewitt said. “It’s inappropriate, because how else do you become so vulnerable?”

An offshore coworker mentor reminded her. “You survived a shipwreck in 2012.”

He and Hewitt were working on the HMS Bounty when it sank 90 miles off the Jersey shore during Hurricane Sandy. “We fought so hard to keep that ship upright – it finally rolled. That was really hard to survive. I know I can survive this if you just keep breathing.”